bill berry

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I Write to Learn What I Think

They say the first draft is shit, so just put a whole lot of whatevers out there because you’re going to rewrite it anyway.

Not that I believe what “they” say, right?

I make mistakes. Sometimes they’re doozies! Which contradicts the idea there are no mistakes. I mean, if you learn something, was it a mistake?

Blah. Blah. Blah.

So here’s the deal. I post a lot of links to articles I read. Sometimes I even write a post myself. [I do love to write, you know.] Most of the time, if I post something, it’s because what I read or saw resonated with me in some way.

So what I learned recently was (besides the fact I start way, waay too many sentences with the word, “so.”)

So what I learned recently was some people (on my team? colleagues?) feel I’m hypocritical. They seem to think I post ideas that I don’t do myself. I don’t live up to what I post.

Seriously, people? I mean, “REALLY?”

When this criticism first danced across my brainwaves, I was like…

So I have this rule. Never, under any frakkin’ circumstances, never, ever be defensive. About anything! It just makes things worse. Including making other people defensive too.

So I hear the criticism, and I’m like, ARE YOU SERIOUS??? Apparently, yes, serious!

Here’s the thing. If I post something, it’s because it resonated with me. It made me think. Usually, it made me think about myself and what I don’t do. Or what I need to do more of. How I need to learn how to do exactly THAT thing described in the article or thoughts in sharing! Ya dig?

Man, I can hardly fathom the idea that I can’t share a thought unless I’m a perfect representative of that idea? That’s like, don’t you ever, in your whole life, ever. post. anything!

The good news? You know there’s gotta be some good news, right?

The good news is the feedback came with the suggestion, “I think you should keep posting, keep sharing.” Yeah, right, don’t let this little bit of whatever seep into your tiny pea-brain. Keep posting. Just know that some people think you are a total, complete, 100 percent, YEAH, PHONY!!! That is all.

Which right about now, 393 words into this rough draft, has me feeling like, “maybe I should rewrite before letting an editor look at this?” Because, they’re going to think this is shit and, by all the evidence presented herein, I’m shit and can’t write. Which is not what I want them – not to mention YOU – to think.

Still, I have this goal of writing 500 words a day, and I’m already up to 465. And, just so you know, the number “465” is considered a word. And now I’m all the way up to, well not exactly, but almost up to just about, let’s see, yes, 493 words. [It was 500 words, but, you know, editing!]

The end!

Note: I originally shared this three years ago (2/21/2018). It still feels right. I’ve since decided the title is where I’m at. I write as part of the process of figuring out what I think about things or what makes sense to me. That’s always been true. It goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway: your mileage may vary!

I invite you to disagree with me. Hell, I may not even agree with me and I just wrote it! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯